50 and Fabulous: 50 Lessons Learned

I turned 50 in August. What a wonderful journey this has been!

Since I am #50AndFabulous, I am sharing 50 lessons I have learned throughout my life.

I hope they are helpful to you.

1. Avoid feelings of jealousy and envy.
2. Be confident and never let them see you sweat.
3. Be vulnerable with people who will not exploit, use or take advantage of you.
4. Buy a home.
5. Buy life insurance.
6. Buy long-term care insurance.
7. Cheer for other people – especially Black people and women.
8. Compete with one person only – yourself.
9. Date different people before committing to and/or marrying one.
10. Decline invitations to events you do not want to attend and do not offer explanations. For example: I appreciate the invitation. Unfortunately, I am unable to attend. Thank you for inviting me and best wishes for a successful event!
11. Do not allow able-bodied adults to live with you – unless you are romantically involved with them. Help them in other ways.
12. Do not allow others to steal your joy.
13. Do not ask your elderly, fixed-income parents for money. Give THEM money.
14. Do not befriend people who commit adultery or who are side pieces. They have no boundaries and will cross yours.
15. Do not commit to someone who will watch you struggle. They need to help you or get out of your life.
16. Do not compare yourself to others. YOU are enough.
17. Do not date people you work with.
18. Do not defend your oppressors – no matter their race or gender.
19. Do not get married if you do not want to.
20. Do not have children if you do not want them.
21. Do not live a life of guilt.
22. Do not loan people money.
23. Do not make your significant other responsible for your happiness. Your happiness is YOUR responsibility.
24. Do not marry anyone who would be unwilling to die for you and kill for you.
25. Do not move back in with your parents after graduating from college.
26. Do not put others’ needs above your own.
27. Do not sneak around after you turn 18. Do it in the open or not at all.
28. Follow your gut instincts. They are God’s whispers in your ear.
29. Follow your own life journey – not your parents’.
30. Get a driver’s license.
31. Give to charities whose core values match yours.
32. Go to college or learn a trade that will sustain you for life.
33. Have multiple streams of revenue.
34. Identify and leverage your strengths, talents and gifts.
35. Invest your money.
36. Keep your inner circle small and tight.
37. Learn how to defend yourself and your family.
38. Live below your means.
39. Live outside of your home state at least one year out of your life.
40. Live with your significant other before marrying them.
41. Maintain good credit.
42. Maintain professional boundaries.
43. Nip bullying in the bud immediately.
44. Pay your bills on time.
45. Pick your bosses and employees wisely.
46. Put your “oxygen mask” on first. You cannot help others if you cannot help yourself first.
47. Realize that all Black people do not love you, and all White people do not hate you.
48. Remember that no man is your last chance.
49. Say “no” when you do not want to do something. Do not apologize for it.
50. Speak up and advocate for those without a voice.